The American Psycho

Because I live near Accounting firms like Ernst & Hung, Goldman’s Ballsacks, and Pimp-Hoe, I get to encounter men in the Finance sector. One common theme resonates with them all; they are desperately trying to be Patrick Bateman. Like literally the first 30 seconds of talking to Bankers sound like the opening quote from American Psycho: […]

The Prince slash Oil Heir

If I invite, a boy some night, to cook up some hot enchilada.  Though Spanish rice, is all very nice, my heart belongs to DaDa – Marilyn Monroe I’m not nicknaming this discarded man Aladdin, because that Aladdin character was a street rat with a monkey-friend. Yuck. Ali Ababawa was a Prince with a pet ellaphant. Yummm.  […]

Why I Date Amputees

My very first crush was BJ from Barney. My first human crush was Michael in kindergarten. It may be super creepy to describe how sexy a 5-year-old was, but I’ll try anyway. He was tall, gorgeous, Japanese, and the way he would bend over to take a drink from the water fountain was just heavenly. […]

The Professor

When I was a kid, there was a popular anti-smoking campaign with Debi Austin. I found the ads very disturbing… But  obviously not disturbing enough, because I was a smoker for nine glorious years. I now get a sense of pride, when I see that the anti-smoking ads have re-surfaced, because I quit for the 12th […]