Ella 2.0

“You’ve seen my descent, now watch my rising.”- Rumi Today I was FB-stalking old college crushes who never gave me the time of day: receding hairlines and dad-bods everywhere; or they’re outta the closet now. Clearly, I know how to pick ’em. Needless to say, my current pursuit for the perfect man has been quite […]

The One with the Psycho Ex

“Don’t tell me you’re sorry, ’cause you’re not. Baby when I know you’re only sorry you got caught.”- Rihanna, Take A Bow. This next guy I can thank for his contributions to my Dumb Shit Guys Say post (#1 and #3).  Our relationship started out like most of my relationships: I was hooking up with […]

Why I Date Amputees

My very first crush was BJ from Barney. My first human crush was Michael in kindergarten. It may be super creepy to describe how sexy a 5-year-old was, but I’ll try anyway. He was tall, gorgeous, Japanese, and the way he would bend over to take a drink from the water fountain was just heavenly. […]

Boo Radley Syndrome

“Boo was about 6½ feet tall… he dined on raw squirrels… what teeth he had were yellow and rotten; his eyes popped, and he drooled most of the time,”- To Kill A Mockingbird I got together with my girlfriends and discussed which guys we consider creeps. I won’t list names*, but they were (for the […]