Prince Ali Ababwa

15 Jun

If I invite, a boy some night, to cook up some hot enchilada.  Though Spanish rice, is all very nice, my heart belongs to DaDa – Marilyn Monroe

I’m not nicknaming this discarded man Aladdin, because that Aladdin character was a street rat with a monkey-friend. Yuck. Ali Ababawa was a Prince with a pet ellaphant. Yummm. 

In college, I did 3 (three! very long) research papers on how Disney stories blah blah bad roles models for girls blah blah low self-esteem. Whatever. As a kid my favorite Disney princess was Jasmine (there wasn’t that Black one, yet). So thanks to Disney I have a complete and total infatuation with pet tigers & Middle Eastern men.

I am a sucker for foreigners. So when Ali asked me out on a date, I was excited but… wary. I didn’t know this guy at all, so I demanded we go somewhere public. Interestingly he responded, Well if you’re so worried about your safety, why don’t you just bring a friend? Offer accepted. Having a sorority sister with me was a great ice breaker, kinda like Vicky, Cristina, Barcelona without the kinky sex scenes. Definitely the best first date of all time. Beachfront restaurant… candlelit dinner… entire patio to ourselves… flawless. I don’t condone polyamorous relationships (1 penis, 1 menstrual cycle is enough for me), but I must admit 3 is company. The night was a Magic Carpet Ride- but instead of a dirty carpet, we rode Ali’s V8 engine vroom.

A couple days later, I was dining with my dad at a restaurant, and Ali was there. What a small, small world [gulp]. I was reluctant to introduce my dad to Ali: 1 my dad is the most intimidating person you’ll ever lay eyes on and 2 he is also political talk show host. Well, their conversation went right over my head, Don’t ask me, I’m just a girl. All I know is: our meal was ‘taken care of,’ my dad apparently knew some Arabic, and they exchanged contact info. Yup. They exchanged contact info. Not okay. Weeks passed, I got busy & stopped answering Ali’s calls. This prompted Ali to call my father. Hey, it’s Ali. Just wanted to see how you and Ella are doing. My dad was none too pleased. Have you showered lately, because something smells fishy?  That’s all it took, Ali got the boot. Because I know better than to question the man who pays my bills.

Such a shame, I liked Ali. And wherever he is, I’m sure he’s making moves. Meanwhile, I’m back to being Princess Jasmine waiting for a suitor of whom my dad approves.

Lessons:

  • A guy willing to wine and dine you and your girlfriend is a baller. Keep him around.
  • But if a guy doesn’t get your father’s seal of approval, move on. Daddy knows best!
  • The reason I don’t write about great dates I had, because they just aren’t as funny as the train wrecks. And today’s blog proves that.

80 Responses to “Prince Ali Ababwa”

  1. ennaeilsel27 June 15, 2012 at 11:12 pm #

    So true about not writing about great dates….trainwreck dates are WAY more interesting!!

  2. thesubterraneanworld June 16, 2012 at 2:40 am #

    Daddy really knows the BEST! LOL
    Love,
    -Naima.

  3. Lily Wight June 16, 2012 at 3:17 am #

    Great post and please keep dating just to entertain the rest of us! x

  4. kenyatta2009 June 16, 2012 at 5:18 am #

    I was waiting for the surprise ending, but glad it didn’t have one. Hah Hah.

  5. Ronnie Manansala June 16, 2012 at 7:46 am #

    ONe of the best disney movies ever!

  6. unvanessasary June 16, 2012 at 10:20 am #

    How awkward to have to introduce him to your dad! This makes me glad that my dad lives two states away and will only meet any of my potential suitors if I explicitly arrange it!

    • Ella June 16, 2012 at 5:06 pm #

      seriously you are lucky! it’s a small, small world

  7. stuffitellmysister June 16, 2012 at 10:24 am #

    Fifty-something years later and my daddy “STILL” knows best….good for you. Your prince will come along one day and you will know it! ♥ In the meantime, humor & looking from the outside in will help!

    • Ella June 16, 2012 at 5:05 pm #

      hahah thank you! glad you understand! Have a great Father’s Day!

  8. tchistorygal June 16, 2012 at 11:44 am #

    This is cute. Great lessons learned.

  9. girlavantgarde June 16, 2012 at 1:56 pm #

    Your blog is adorable!

    xo,
    Courtney

    http://girlavantgarde.wordpress.com/

    • Ella June 16, 2012 at 5:04 pm #

      thank you Courtney!

  10. The Red Headed Writer June 16, 2012 at 2:33 pm #

    I can’t agree with you enough on the fact that good guys don’t give us anything to write about, but give us a bad boy who drops the ball – and it’s on!

    Nice writing – I always enjoy your stories and looking forward to the next.

  11. Duane Gluck June 16, 2012 at 2:50 pm #

    Love this post! The humor you weave into your posts is like word-candy for my brain! LOL!

  12. actuallyallie June 16, 2012 at 2:59 pm #

    Very good advice. Guys should be friendly with your parents, but not over-bearingly friendly! Glad your dad knows what’s best for you.

  13. Ray Sharp June 16, 2012 at 5:45 pm #

    You’re a good writer, Ella, funny and smart Cheers.

  14. ninarachel621 June 16, 2012 at 6:19 pm #

    SO cute! Glad it worked out!

  15. omawarisan June 16, 2012 at 6:33 pm #

    Ohhhhh yeah, calling Dad = stalker. He had to go!

  16. Geek 20/20 June 17, 2012 at 7:33 am #

    I really was looking for a good father’s day post and your was delightful.

    • Ella June 19, 2012 at 10:28 am #

      hehe thank you!

  17. Carolina Courtland June 17, 2012 at 2:29 pm #

    All your stories are entertaining! I’m still stuck on that your dad is a political talk show host. Republican or democrat?

    • Ella June 19, 2012 at 10:32 am #

      He’s a cynical moderate, GDI so to speak

  18. Alexandra June 18, 2012 at 10:27 am #

    hey, just found your blog

    i will keep reading it and i’m looking forward to new posts!

    • Ella June 19, 2012 at 10:27 am #

      awesome thank you for stopping by!

  19. torinn2 June 18, 2012 at 11:32 am #

    That’s amazing to have so much value in your dad’s decisions. But what exactly did the guy do wrong in your eyes for you to not want to call him? Was it that he got too close to your dad way to quick?

    • Ella June 19, 2012 at 10:33 am #

      it wasn’t that he did anything bad per say, it was just overkill. If I don’t want to hang out, calling my dad will get you nowhere fast

  20. bossymoksie June 18, 2012 at 5:07 pm #

    Now I’ve got the “Prince Ali” song stuck in my head!!!!

    • Ella June 19, 2012 at 10:30 am #

      haha it’s been in my head all weekend too!

  21. nalacritter28 June 18, 2012 at 10:13 pm #

    You had me at “research papers about Disney movies affecting girls self esteem”. I wrote a similar little one about people protesting Legos and claiming they cause eating disorders…it’s an older post somewhere. Everyone needs someone to blame I guess…and although that wasn’t the point of your post, the whole thing was pretty awesome that’s just what caught my attention first :)

    Side note: in the future if I have kids I’ll stick with letting them watch Jersey Shore rather than The Little Mermaid… Both are supposedly damaging so why not stick with the one that portrays realistic relationships?
    Juuuust kidding lol

    • Ella June 19, 2012 at 10:26 am #

      Bahahah omg Legos cause Eds? How?!?! I don’t see the correlation at all. And I like where your head’s at, I grew up watching Sex and The City, look at me now!

      • nalacritter28 June 25, 2012 at 8:32 pm #

        The lego thing is in my archives of blog black hole-ness somewhere…I didn’t see the correlation either until some undereducated “specialists” with too much time on their hands enlightened me haha

  22. Cindy Woodard June 19, 2012 at 6:24 am #

    I love the puns you create with your name haha.

  23. thoughts2wordsblog June 19, 2012 at 6:58 am #

    very forward guy…lol…too funny.

    http://thoughts2wordsblog.wordpress.com/

  24. littlegspot June 19, 2012 at 7:32 am #

    Very Funny…There are some crazy boys out there.

  25. nisham June 19, 2012 at 11:22 am #

    Lol, wow he has guts!

    • Ella June 20, 2012 at 12:58 pm #

      and some nerve right?

  26. chancedagger June 20, 2012 at 6:53 am #

    “Polyamorous?” Love this word! Plan to use it!

  27. learningdog June 20, 2012 at 4:50 pm #

    I can’t believe he called your dad to get a status of you. That’s kinda creepy.

  28. lovehaunt June 20, 2012 at 5:32 pm #

    I don’t get why Ali was given the boot… I guess calling your dad for no other reason than to check on you? I thought maybe they had bonded to the point of chatting regularly. Poor Ali. :( Yeah, stories about happy relationships that don’t exist anymore tend to be more sad or at least rainbowy than funny. That’s my choice, too.

  29. audrina1759 June 21, 2012 at 3:10 am #

    Your post are always so Entertaining . love this one btw.

  30. Bookfinda June 22, 2012 at 2:05 am #

    I’m so glad it led me to yours because I love it! :-)

  31. Wandering Voiceless June 23, 2012 at 2:24 am #

    Hey there…. Will be forwarding links along to my 23 and 20 yo daughters… although I’m sure they’ve got their stuff together cuz after all I was their mom! Looking forward to reading more… :>

    • Wandering Voiceless June 23, 2012 at 2:25 am #

      PS my daughters’ “code” names are Jasmine and Belle… no, we weren’t totally into Disney at all. ;>

      • Ella June 26, 2012 at 12:59 pm #

        :)

  32. vMonster June 23, 2012 at 10:53 am #

    Personally I live for the train wrecks.

    http://disappointedlove.wordpress.com

  33. pickingalover June 24, 2012 at 5:24 pm #

    I’ve nominated you for the Reader Appreciation Award to let you know how much I enjoy your posts. Link: http://pickingalover.wordpress.com/2012/06/24/reader-appreciation-award/

    • Ella June 26, 2012 at 12:59 pm #

      awesome thank you!!!

  34. truthseeker411 June 24, 2012 at 9:02 pm #

    I love the post!! Very entertaining!!

  35. full1mpact June 27, 2012 at 12:53 am #

    Great read! Thank you for taking the time to allow us to look into these stories!

  36. dreya07 June 29, 2012 at 1:48 pm #

    Lol, I love your sense of humor and personality in your post! Keep up the good work! You remind me of my self and my own post!

  37. beautifullystrong July 19, 2012 at 10:39 am #

    Hi Ella, this is a genius idea for a blog concept…hilarious. Love it. Thanks for sharing! :)

  38. Jason Beech July 19, 2012 at 10:41 am #

    Hey, Ella, … maybe it is best to keep your dad nearby on those dates.

  39. jojowah July 19, 2012 at 1:35 pm #

    I get it about your dad. I have two older brothers who with a blink could kill any and all chance of any dates for me when I was younger.

    • twoamstrawberrywine July 31, 2012 at 5:31 pm #

      Thanks for writing about your adventures, Ella! I just wanted to tell you I’ve nominated you for the Seven Things Award.

  40. dingdongitsmrwrong August 8, 2012 at 10:00 pm #

    This is great. Please feel free to contribute any stories/experiences tovmy new book Mr Wrong at dingdongitsmrwrong.WordPress.com x

  41. topiclessbar August 8, 2012 at 10:24 pm #

    Great stuff. Your posts really crack me up – you’re fantastic! Love the tempo of your writing too. Anyways, really impressive Ella. : )

    • Ella August 10, 2012 at 8:21 am #

      thank youuuuu

  42. theundateablevirgin August 8, 2012 at 10:29 pm #

    Disney isn’t the only thing giving women unrealistic expectations about love. According to every TV show on the planet, a first date magically turns into a relationship immediately following the first kiss.

    I was always a sucker for Prince Ali, too. But that might have been because Steve from Full House provided his voice…

    • Ella August 10, 2012 at 8:21 am #

      steve was soooo hot!! I was always so jealous of DJ

  43. Help 4 Life August 9, 2012 at 9:47 am #

    I agree Disney princesses are bad role models…why do all my daughters like them…

  44. datingRVA August 9, 2012 at 9:48 am #

    YES. Dads know best!

  45. thelovemanifesto August 10, 2012 at 1:10 am #

    Yeah definitely not cool for a guy to be the buddy buddy with your dad so soon. I had a similar experience with a girl who started getting all my friend’s numbers and hanging out with them one on one and asking them questions about me.

    • Ella August 10, 2012 at 8:23 am #

      ya, it’s so weird!!

  46. K August 12, 2012 at 2:23 pm #

    I have nominated you for the Beautiful Blogger Award. See my post :0)

    http://krissyandthecity.com/2012/08/12/seven-things-about-me/

    • Ella August 16, 2012 at 10:08 am #

      Thanks Krissy!!

  47. K August 12, 2012 at 2:30 pm #

    My other blog is http://www.sweetlifeofsam.wordpress.com

  48. Daphne August 13, 2012 at 6:33 am #

    If you think it’s worth it, you can show daddy that he’s as good as you know he is. Maybe you could’ve gone far with this guy! :P

    • Ella August 16, 2012 at 10:08 am #

      ya… you’re prob right. I guess I’m always looking for a reason to escape

  49. explicitcognitions August 14, 2012 at 12:52 pm #

    i was recently nominated for the One Lovely Blog Award. i really enjoy your blog, so i gave you a nomination. check it out @ http://explicitcognitions.wordpress.com/2012/08/14/one-lovely-blog-award/

    • Ella August 16, 2012 at 10:06 am #

      thank you sharin!!!

  50. mizdoss August 19, 2012 at 10:55 am #

    Aren’t we all waiting for our Prince Charming??? Disney has truly ruined us girls painting a fantasy that only exists in the Disney movies. I’m not giving up on my happy ending though! lol

  51. jenhelene77 August 19, 2012 at 7:05 pm #

    Love!!! :-D

  52. Smile October 3, 2012 at 9:14 am #

    I like the lessons learned. Well written post.

  53. Shilpa October 14, 2012 at 8:29 am #

    Hi I am nominating you for “The Booker Award”, Please check my post for details :P

    • Ella October 16, 2012 at 9:03 pm #

      thankssss

  54. The Blazing Trail December 13, 2012 at 12:07 pm #

    Some food for thought here. Thanks.

Trackbacks/Pingbacks

  1. (Dumb) Shit Guys Say (to Me) « Ella Elle L'A - October 9, 2012

    [...] Below is a list of things I’ve been told since  my last blog in June. [...]

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